“Forgive and Forget”

This topic is courtesy to a previous newspaper headliner describing SUPP’S factional resolution to the power struggle between their President, George Chan and his potential replacement, Wong SK and group. I met them together at the Astana on the first day of Hari Raya three days ago. Further the same message was also heard on TV where Pak Lah gave his Hari Raya greetings asking for forgiveness for any mistakes he had made. It is a good topic to ponder in relation to my previous topic on “TULAH”.

To forgive is very easy for many people, especially for me because simply I do not mind what people say or do to me because of what my father had taught me to believe. He had told me never to clatter or worry about what the “bad” things other people do or say to me, “just leave it to “TOPA” to decide” he had said. “TOPA” is the ALMIGHTY in the BIDAYUH Philosophy of life, as HE is the GOD of Christianity and ALLAH of Islam. He is the Arbitrator, the Judge and Jury. Everything you are he knows, especially what you do or say. The punishment for bad deeds and/or actions which are called “POLIH” in Bidayuh, is “TULAH” which is bad luck in real life. “POLIH” is a set of things that as a good person or boy we are told not do. It is more than the TEN Commandments of MOSES.

One of them is total respect to the ELDERS who must always be seen as wiser and more blessed than you especially if he is poorer than you. The logic here is apparently because “TOPA” has already given him a longer life and that you don’t really know what status he really holds with “TOPA”. The Christian Bible confirms this thinking in the “LAZARUS story” where the rich man was told to ask Lazarus for help in the afterworld, the very man who would not give a “morsel” to the hungry and poor Lazarus in real life. Any disrespect may result in “TULAH”. Holding a higher station in life, such becoming elected representative in the State Assembly or Parliament will not give an automatic right to become supreme and free to do any bad deeds or actions. In failure to do what is right may result in being cursed later.

Being forgiving is always a blessing. We will have nothing to lose. It is really an asset because as my father told me that “if I do so, then the person who committed the sin will be more susceptible to having the curse reverted to himself as long as I am not guilty as charged”. He also told me just to watch all those who had said or did bad things to him. True enough, time had shown me that what he had told me materialized with time. Being “TULAH”, payment is not just in real life but possibly also later in the afterworld, which I will only know after I “go there but then how can I tell you”.

However to “FORGET” is a very difficult thing to do unless one is “moron” who will be forgetful or a drunk who has destroyed enough of his frontal cortex of the brain to lose not only his short term memory but also long term! One time, Peter Minos asked me to forget what was done to me by him and Jabu before and after my sacking from my position in 1995 and after. I told, “Yes I can forgive but I cannot forget”. I cannot forget what my PBB friends told about what Peter had said about me before the Delegates and the fact that he was booed by them for saying all the bad things about me. He even had the guts to use my official car to spread the news of my sacking to Bau Bazaar with my driver. Yes he is long forgiven but how I can forget? However “not forgetting” does not mean that I will exact revenge later on – there is no need for that, my father had taught me not to do that. Revenge against Jabu and Peter and all those who conspired against me was,is and will never in my mind. I have left all the vengeance and healing to “TOPA” when I shaved my head for the first three years and on the anniversary the next two years. I stopped for fear that they may pay heavier penalties as they continue to pound me with all the false accusations especially in every elections just trying to destroy me politically -even possibly with their lives had I still do it till now. All are long forgiven but unfortunately I cannot just erased the memories just like that. I can still remember many momentous events in my life, even the way my little sister was bundled up in white cloth after she died. I was about one years old then, I remember I asked my mother, “Why Pelen(my sister’s name) is bundled up?” When she cried I knew then that my sister was no more!… No it is not easy to forget…. whether to take revenge or not has nothing to do the memory of what has happened.

To say “oh yes I will forget” can be a pure lie or just a tactic to exact revenge. By the way shaving my head in 1995 onwards is just my simple way of answering all the dirty things my BN colleagues were saying about me to justify their actions and of warning all my supporters that if they cannot look after my political struggle they may get “BOTAK” by my accusers by and by. There was no avenue for me to defend myself without hurting my core followers more as BN was at the height of its strength then. However I cannot just let go of my political struggle because many of my very close supporters told me not stop fighting for them.

“FORGIVE AND FORGET” can be a directive easier said than done. Forgiving is very easy and especially during the HARI RAYA we should be very forgiving to all those who asked for it easy when Pak Lah asked for it. We should forgive him for not being able to sustain the value of the RINGGIT MALAYSIA but we should also remind him that he must make amends by bringing in the reforms needed for Malaysia to have better to-morrow. He has all the power which he can use to make our RM to be at par with the Singapore Dollar at least. Economically, we should be at par with Singapore.



Filed under Philosophy

2 responses to ““Forgive and Forget”

  1. Based on civil conscience, we can forgive but human brain is programmed to store all those memory, good and bad. So there is only 1% chance of you forgetting that particular event.

  2. partistar

    True and Thanks.

    Hopefully, all politicians should realize this and should not make a statement which the majority will not agree to. Such mistake of telling people to FORGET will only insult the victims further.

    Possibly under this knowledge, the Bidayuh has no word for “SORRY, MINTA MAAF, or THANK YOU”. Over time, we borrow them from others: .. whether said from the heart or just the automatic response ingrained in the “new brain and the vocal cords”. Or as said “cakap sahaja”.

    Normally the Bidayuh will replay with corresponding actions or reactions.

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